Bennett Anthony

I decided to blog about Bennett's arrival, mostly for me to have while it's all fresh in my mind. But also as a way to thank the nurses who lovingly watched over him while he was in their care.

Bennett was born at 37 weeks via induction because I had cholestasis (ICP) As soon as he was born I knew something was off, his cry wasn't like Morgan's and Kendall's. It was pretty terrifying to have so many nurses, and specialists crowded around him while I laid there helplessly. I kept watching Anthony's face so I could try to read the situation. My nurse Erin was as cool as a cucumber, she kept reassuring me everything was fine and that he was in good hands. They ended up wheeling him over to the Special Nursery while I waited in recovery for an hour. I was only able to hold him for a few seconds when he was born. After the hour Erin took me to see him, he looked so tiny hooked up to so many monitors and the CPAP machine. Marie was his first nurse. She was confident, knowledgable, and explained everything to me even though I was in a daze and felt like her words were in a different language. Her positivity and confident tone made me feel like things would be ok. I still couldn't hold him that night, but the next morning at 6, she let me. It felt so good to snuggle him and feel his heart beating against mine. Later that day, he took a little dip, and I wasn't able to hold him again. I asked the postpartum nurse if I could go home. I felt fine, and being in the room without him was making me feel uncomfortably sad. I was discharged and spent the next few hours sitting in his cubicle, watching the machines again helplessly. If I didn't have Morgan and Kendall at home, I would have slept bedside, but they were worried and disappointed they hadn't been able to meet him. Kendall wasn't feeling well and kept calling me crying, begging me to come home.

His Day nurse, Nancy, assured me he was in good hands and encouraged me to go home, rest, pump, spend time with kids and come back in the morning. Nancy spent a lot of extra time with us, making sure that nursing was going well was so very encouraging and knowledgeable. As much as I could, I enjoyed my time and conversations with her.

In the morning, his Nurse was Leann (I call her his angel ) You can see the love she has for her job and all those babies in her eyes. I felt less guilty about not being there when she was. I know she treated him like he was her very own. She was never annoyed or frazzled when I called for updates, usually at 2 am.

Bennett was in special care for 8 nights, some days were great, and I expected to go home, and some days weren't, and I expected to stay even longer. Seeing your baby with a feeding tube and IV is so very hard, I had to talk myself out of breaking down a few times. I don't know how some of you spend weeks by your baby's bed unable to hold or comfort them. I know our situation wasn't nearly as bad as some and that our stay was very minimal in the big picture, but it left a lasting impact on me. A special understanding about life and babies and not taking things like a fussy baby in the middle of the night for granted. It also gave me an extreme appreciation for the extraordinary nurses who work in that unit. Every single one is precious. I'm not sure it makes any sense, but I feel very fortunate to have had this unfortunate experience.

This Kids finally got to meet him on Feb 20th when he came home. They are so in love with him.

A very special thank you from the bottom of our hearts to all his wonderful nurses: Marie, Nancy, Leann, Megan, and Nyssa. I hope I didn't miss anyone, and if I did know it's only because I've had 7 hours of sleep in the last 48 hours.