Dreaming Dreams & Riding Horses
Over the last few years, I've been having this dream over and over again, I'm sitting on a porch swing reading, eating an apple, and a beautiful brown horse comes over my shoulder and takes the apple right out of my hand. I'm sure that when I was a kid, I went on pony rides at the fair. I can't remember but what kid doesn't go on pony rides? Most kids grow up fascinated about horses, and I'm sure almost all of them have drawn a cute little picture at one point or another. When I was a teenager my friend's family owned a farm, and I spent practically every weekend there, except at the time I had no interest in farms or animals. When I was a teen, I imagined myself living in a fancy city apartment, making lots of money, and living a "New York style" life. I wanted to be a teacher, a writer, or a photographer, funny considering I've found a way to incorporate all these professions into my life. I remember taking the Go Train into the city with a co-worker when I was 16 and seeing all these well dressed women with, gorgeous shoes, flashy handbags, fists full of shopping bags and thinking "Yup, that's going to be me one day."
Funny how things work out, isn't it? Here I am 33, married for a decade, the Mother of two beautiful children, and one fur baby, dreaming about the day we leave our current city and trade it in for a simple life, hopefully with a little bit of land to have a lovely garden, and a few small animals. I still like fancy things like cute shoes, new dresses, and practical handbags. But the dream for a big elegant apartment or house has faded far into the background. In a past life (I'm not sure I believe in that, but I like the term) I'm convinced I lived on a farm somewhere, I'm not cut out for this busy lifestyle. When we are out of "town" which is more like a city now with over 100,000 people, and we drive back in, I feel an overwhelming sadness, longing for the way things used to be; With acres and acres of farmland surrounding our tiny town square. Now I see abandoned farms and houses just waiting for the builders to break ground and it breaks my heart. The need for growth and expansion is inevitable and for most Milton still feels like a small town. But to us, it feels too big and too busy, It doesn't mean I resent the growth it just means it's outgrown us. We are planning, saving, and dreaming of a new life where our kids are feeding real chickens and not the ones in Minecraft. P.S Kendall eats the horses in that game, horrifying? Right?!
I got a little off track, back to my dream! While I dream about this horse and possibly owning one, one day, I've never (or that I can remember) actually been on a horse!! For years I've been saying I'm going to take lessons, Anthony almost bought lessons for me one year, and then I chickened out. On Sunday when we were on our usual Sunday drive, I asked Anthony to call our friend Aleks, to ask him if Katy, his beautiful fiance would let me ride her horse, Eddie. She's the sweetest, so of course, she said yes. Yesterday we met Katy & Aleks at the barn, fed Eddie a few carrots, and got to know him a little bit. Like all living beings, he has a personality, he's charming, loves having his picture taken, and is so gentle. For a minute, I almost skipped riding him, but I decided it's now or never, I need to stop dreaming and start doing. At my request, Katy held onto Eddie While Aleks stood close to me. I was a bit shaky at first, but after a few seconds, I felt comfortable. Do I think I'll ever canter on a beach somewhere? Probably not, but do I think I'll get back on? Heck yes! Kendall was as free as a bird, not one ounce of fear just wanted to ride solo, without any help. Morgan was a little shy at first, but after he saw Kendall, he decided to give it a try and loved it. Anthony (that damn Anthony who does everything I want to do perfect and flawlessly) said he wasn't going to ride, but naturally, he hopped up ( without the stool) and rode Eddie like he grew up on a horse, without fear, total control, and ease. Like always, he was perfectly annoying, one of the things I love about him.
It looks like 2018 is off to a great start! My first flight, my first cruise, and my first ride. Its necessary to take a minute to be grateful for the things I do have and have accomplished. The chances that I've finally taken. Sometimes I get lost in our big goal, and because we aren't there yet, I often feel discouraged and disappointed. It's around the bend; I know it is, We just have to keep the faith, continue being good people, and working hard.
Special thanks to Aleks and Katy for taking time out of your busy lives to share Eddie and your knowledge with us. We love you guys!
Thank you for reading and letting me share a little piece of my heart with you.
- Megan, xo